Learning To Forget
by Madam-Rose-Writes
Summary: Kurt and Blaine split up when Kurt moves to New York for College. Kurt has a long term boyfriend but is everything as it seems, and why would Blaine end up back up on the scene after many years of no communication? Warning for domestic abuse and none graphical non-con.
1. Chapter 1 - Courage and Strength

I hope you enjoy this fic, please heed the heed the warnings about domestic abuse, and none graphical non-con. I am hoping to upload new chapters every Wednesday and Sunday. I always love hearing you're reviews so please leave me some.

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Kurt awakes with a jump, at the sound of footsteps approaching the sofa, though he can't remember sitting on the sofa let alone falling asleep on it. He's knows instantly that he's going to catch hell, because he hasn't finished the housework and it must be late, or well early if Mark's just come home from drinks with his mates.

"What the hell are you doing asleep on the couch, when the housework hasn't been finished?" Mark spits, anger lacing his voice.

"I'm sorry! I'd done so much already, I'd been working and then I did all the other jobs and I…I don't remember falling asleep." Kurt rushes out, adding another apology despite knowing it won't end well no matter how many times he apologises.

"'I'm sorry?' I come back just wanting to relax and the place is a state, and all you can say is 'I'm sorry'?" Mark asks, voice being to rise. It's clear he's been drinking, a lot, but he still seems perfectly capable of putting together a coherent sentence.

"I'm sorry," Kurt repeats again, voice getting softer and quicker, "I'll go sort it out now, I really am sorry." He's just waiting for it, waiting for Mark to be more than just a screaming voice. He knows it is coming but that doesn't make it an easier when it does.

"Yes, you damn well will!" Mark exclaims, pulling Kurt up by his hair. Kurt doesn't flinch at the pain; he can't that only makes things worse. It only makes Mark angrier because it's a sign of weakness and Mark doesn't like that, and he's already upset Mark enough. Mark pushes Kurt forward and he stumbles towards the kitchen only just managing to stay on his feet.

Once he's in the kitchen he allows the fear through his body, he shudders in release before building his walls up again, blank expression on his porcelain-like face. He knows he got to get the jobs done so Mark doesn't get any more pissed with him, so he sets about doing the dishes, working at a speed he knows he shouldn't when he's just woken up.

CRASH

It's over before he even knows it's happening and he's left, frozen in shock, staring at the broken shards of glass on the floor. Only to be brought to his senses by a sound he knows all too well.

The sound of a hand hitting his cheek, along with Mark's booming voice, "What the fuck are you doing, Hummel?" And this is exactly what Kurt was trying to avoid. He's dealt angry Mark before and he knows it never ends well.

"I'm…I'm sorry," he stutters. "I was trying to get it done quickly, you wanted the living room done too and I didn't want to keep you waiting. I'm sorry…sorry." Kurt feels like his blank persona is going to slip away at any seconds. He can feel the tears burning behind his eye and the lump building in his throat but he holds it in. He has to. "I'll get the dustpan and brush," he adds stepping forward in the direction of the cupboard.

"You'll do no such thing," Mark hisses, forcing his hands onto Kurt's shoulders and pushing him onto the floor. "You made the mess you clean it. Seems losing your mom has led to you being unable to be domesticated." He punctuates the sentence with a kick to Kurt's back. At the words a single tear slips down his cheek and he's glad he on the floor and Mark can't see him. Mark has caused him physical pain more times than Kurt can physically remember but he knows without a doubt that that comment cuts deeper than anything before.

With all the thoughts Kurt doesn't realize he's cut his hand until he sees the blood beginning to pool on the floor. But even when he does notice it's not like it matters, because that isn't his priority. He begins to clean up the glass working with as much speed and precision as possible, he doesn't fancy cutting himself any more.

He doesn't look up at all while cleaning the floor as best he can, only too aware of Mark's presence standing over him.

"Can I get the vacuum," he asks eventually when he knows he can do no more without it, eyes firmly on the bottom of the kitchen counter.

"Yes, but be quick about it you clumsy bitch," Mark responds harshly.

Kurt scrambles to his feet as quickly as possible, but it's clearly not quickly enough for Mark's liking, because he soon feels himself being pushed forward into the sharp corner of the kitchen counter. He feels the bruise forming almost instantly, adding to the multiple already marring his normally pristine skin.

Once the remaining glass shared are vacuumed up he moves into the living room, vacuuming every inch of that too, even though he already knows it's immaculate. He vacuums it at least two a day in an effort to keep Mark happy. He never likes giving Mark a reason to be unhappy, because well it always ends like this, with him hurt.

He packs the vacuum away, hoping not to upset his boyfriend further. Just as he shuts the cupboard door he feels Mark coming up behind him, standing in his personal space. "Good you've finished," Mark begins moving his mouth closer to Kurt ear. "Now get to the bedroom and get undress," he almost whispers, in a way that scares Kurt more than the shouting.

"But I don't want to," Kurt argues back, because this is one thing he does try to stay strong about.

"Don't piss me off anymore Hummel. I'm stressed it's your fault. Now get your pretty little ass naked and on that bed." And Kurt is too scared to fight him, he's tried before and he still wonders how he didn't die that day. And his life might not be all he wanted it to be right now but he isn't ready for that.

He knows what's coming and he hates it. When it comes to sex he's just here to satisfy Mark's desires, that much has been clear for a few years now. He's been Mark's sex toy for three years, and that's long enough to know it's much worse when Mark is horny and drunk. If he doesn't care about Kurt's needs normally during sex, well he doesn't even acknowledge Kurt during sex when he's drunk. It always hurts, and Kurt's always scared that one time soon it's going to be one time too many, and Mark's going to cause damage that can be fixed. And it's no different this time, and like always he begs Mark not to.

"Please Mark no, I don't want this," but it's pointless and it happens anyway. He tries not to think about it but it's hard, when he can physically feel his body bruising under Mark's hands. It's hard when Mark manhandles him onto his stomach, immobilising him, and making him feel even more helpless then before.

Once Mark's finished he falls asleep instantly, leaving Kurt shaking with pain, fear and cold. He can't sleep; his mind won't let him, never does after these sorts of events. He's once again left wondering how he let any of this happen, how exactly his still in this situation after years of promising himself he'll get out. He's been promising himself since the first time, three years, one month and four days ago that he's going to leave, and yes he knows it to the day, yet here he is, after being used as a punching bag once again. But it's hard because after it happens Mark is always so sweet and he buys Kurt flowers and treats him like a prince for a few weeks, and Kurt's reminded how it used to be when they first got together. The first two years of their relationship were perfect, just what Kurt had hoped for. And he can't help but wonder what he's done wrong, because well it's got to be his fault that his boyfriend suddenly turned into a monster.

He's lost count of the times he's been in this same situation since Mark changed, but he knows he isn't proud of how many times it's happened. His mother would be so ashamed and disappointed in him for being so weak, and he knows it, knows he's weak for letting Mark do this to him. He'd always been taught to hold his head up high and fight for his beliefs and his rights. A fresh wave of tears enters his eyes at these thoughts, Mark's early words ringing in his ears. And it's this, Mark's degradation of his late mother, which gives him the courage. He picks up his phone and does something he's never done before; even if he isn't sure his call for help will be answered.

- Help! Please, help! Ask questions later. I need help! If you still live in New York! If you can, please get to Apartment 4, 750 Columbus Ave in New York quickly! And whatever you do, please don't reply back to this text! -


	2. Chapter 2 - The Apology

Thank you to all of you who read the first chapter and followed the story, here is chapter 2 I hope you enjoy - I love receiving reviews.

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The sound of the breakfast tray tapping against the door wakes Kurt. It's a sound he's become accustom to over the past couple of years. It's a sure sign that Mark can remember at least some of what happened last night and is now feeling guilty for his actions. He tries to push himself to sitting, wincing internally as his bruised body protests against the movement.

Kurt watches as Mark places the breakfast tray on the bedside table and mentally reminds himself not to act scared when Mark predictably comes round to help him sit up. While he can control that, he can't however stop his heart from racing. It's exactly what it does when Mark's hands make contact with his skin, because no matter what he's being like now they are the same hands that were used to hurt him just hours previously.

"Hey baby. It's okay, I'm not going to hurt you, I promise," Mark tries to reassure, "I'm sorry."

Once he's comfortable Mark places the tray gently on Kurt's lap, luckily a part of the body with fewer bruises than the rest. Kurt isn't sure he can stomach eating right now, but he isn't going to refuse and risk Mark turning angry again. He knows Mark is only acting like this because of his previous actions, but that doesn't mean he wants it to stop. The opposite actually he wants this as long as possible especially with Mark's recent actions still raw in his mind.

"Eat up, sweetheart," Mark instructs, and it's an instruction Kurt is quick to follow, a sign of just how much Mark has come to affect him, and not in a good way. "After breakfast I'll run you a bath and then we can go out shopping and spoil you." Kurt scoffs in his head, because he knows it will be his own money they are using, he's always had more money that Mark, what with being a fashion designer and also acting on Broadway. He doesn't let his opinion show however, and continues eating his breakfast in silence, something he knows Mark will be happy with.

"How about we get you some new outfits, followed by food and maybe a movie?" Mark questions after a few minutes of silence.

Kurt swallows his mouthful of food before responding with a simple "Yes, please."

"No need to say please, Princess. It's the least I can do the make things better." Mark reassures sweetly, leaving Kurt suppressing yet another shudder. He hates that Mark calls him princess. Yes he's gay that's something he came to terms with a long time ago, but the title makes him feel like less of a man. Like some sort of failure. Who was he kidding? He was a failure, he's been told so often enough.

He finishes his breakfast in silence, Mark slipping off halfway through to run him a bath, though Kurt doesn't know exactly how he's going to manage getting it and out with how stiff his body is currently feeling. He feels truly battered, he can't think of any other way to describe it. What hurt more though is the fact that it's all been cause by the man who is supposed to love him more than anything else in the world. He knows it isn't really love, knows that if Mark loved him he wouldn't be abusing him like this. He's not stupid he knows its abuse, but what can he do?

A while later he skins into the warm bath, wincing as the water connect with the parts of his skin where he has broken skin, mainly from the bites Mark gave him last night. He slowly lets himself relax, the locked door giving him the security to feel able to do so.

He picks up his phone, planning on checking his emails. It's only then that he remembers the text he sent just a few hours previously. It hurts that his cry for help hasn't been answered, especially after the courage it had taken. Though if he's honest he wasn't expecting it, if he did he would have done it much sooner. But he decides to give it one last shot, he found that courage from somewhere, and he's going to do it again. Mark's words about his mother still ringing in his ears and because he knows he needs to get out. He needs to get out before Mark's actions go too far and he loses his life.

- Please, I know you may be confused, this isn't a joke. I need help. If you still live near the address in the previous text, please help. –

He knows putting his name on the text will either make the recipient come and help him quicker, or make them believe it is a huge joke so he leaves him name off, and prays to a god he doesn't believe in that they for whatever reason decide to act on the message. He hits the send button before he can convince himself otherwise, before swiftly deleting the message and laying his phone back down, deciding his emails can wait in favour for actually having some time to relax, it isn't a luxury he gets very often.

He must get too relaxed because the next thing he registers is Mark's voice calling his name.

"Kurt. Kurt, you all right in there? You've been in there over an hour and no fresh water has been run."

Kurt chastises himself for being so stupid, and there was trying not to make Mark angry. "I'm fine, sorry I've been so long I'll get out now," he responds quickly.

"No, no. Don't be so silly," Mark cuts in. "You were clearly tired so don't apologise. Run yourself some fresh water it's got to be cold by now. Then wash your hair and do your moisturizing routine, it's not like we've got to rush. I'll just find something interesting on the telly; I know how long you will take," Mark finishes with a chuckle.

Even though the locked door Kurt can tell the chuckle is genuine and it makes him feel guilty for the texts he's sent, because that was the man he agreed to date 5 years ago. It makes him sad that he's had to resort to such a means to try and escape, he wishes that he didn't feel the need. That everything could go back to how it used to be. Back to when he used to believe Mark made him the happiest man alive and he was certain he wanted to spend the rest of his life with him.


	3. Chapter 3 - All A Big Joke

So here is chapter 3 please enjoy, I love reading your reviews so feel free to leave one. Also I want to start writing a series of drabbles so if anyone has any Klaine drabble requests drop me a PM.

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Blaine isn't used to his phone going off at such on early time in the morning especially on a Saturday, so he's startled by the sound only to realize he much have forgotten to switch it to silent the night before. He turns over groggy with sleep and picks it up wondering just who would have need to text him so early. When he sees it's from a number he doesn't recognize he almost deletes the message without reading it, because surely he sound know the number of anyway who has the need to contact him at 4 in the morning. But this also what makes him curious, because why exactly would someone be messaging him at such a time

He opens the message, he reads it a few times trying to get it to make sense, but no matter what he does it doesn't work.

- Help! Please, help! Ask questions later. I need help! If you still live in New York! If you can, please get to Apartment 4, 750 Columbus Ave in New York quickly! And whatever you do, please don't reply back to this text! -

He's certain the address isn't one he's been to or even heard of before, and he can't think of anyone he knows in New York that would need his help. He puts his phone down mind racing, full of questions he's sure he doesn't have the answers to.

He considers the idea of it being a joke, but he doesn't fully accept that idea, because if it's a joke it's pretty sick, and also how did anyone he doesn't know get his number (it's something he's always careful with, has to be in his line of work, he doesn't fancy numerous fans getting hold of his number). But the idea that it's not a joke and that someone really does need his help doesn't sit any better either because why hadn't they made it clear who they were and why did they need his help and at such a time?

Blaine gets up, because he does know one thing for sure and that's that he's not getting any more sleep. He takes a shower hoping it will help him relax because he's getting a headache already and he needs to be at his best tonight.

He climbs out of the shower 15 minutes later and begins to get dressed. By now he's pretty convinced that the text message was a big joke. He's tempted to call the sender and find out why exactly they find it funny. But there is just a tiny part of him that can't bring himself to do so, because the text had clearly said not to contact back. And he can't imagine what he would do if he did contact the person and it made anything worse.

It's this though that's the hardest to deal with, the thought that someone could be in some kind of trouble or danger. He can't imagine what he would do if he does nothing and then in a few days he finds out that something really has happened. He does know however that if that's the case he'll never be able to forgive himself. He wants to help but he was also worried that if he did try he could be putting himself in danger joke or not. It's for this reasons he doesn't act.

He's got a big gig later, and he can't risk messing it up. He's been working so hard to build up his reputation in the music industry and he can't jeopardize that now. He makes himself a coffee before walking through to his music room come office. He picks up his guitar and starts playing deciding to put his energy into something useful. Plus he knows music always helps him to forget, it's always been an amazing way of escape for him.

It's a long time later when he hears his phone go off again, and it's finally light outside meaning he must have been practicing for a couple of hours. He runs to grab it guessing it's going to be his agent confirming details for his gig that evening. However the second he picks of the phone and sees the unknown number again he knows that isn't the case.

All his thoughts that had left him while he'd been practicing flood back into his mind.

- Please, I know you may be confused, this isn't a joke. I need help. If you still live near the address in the previous text, please help. –

He stops and decides to try and go about this logically, and he knows the first thing he needs to do is check if the address is real. He opens his MacBook and searches the address, discovering that it is indeed a real address, around 10 minutes from his apartment. He has to wonder if someone would really be able to think out a prank that well.

He acts on impulse next and heads towards the door grabbing his car key on the way. He can't take the risk that someone could be in danger. He has to go and check everything is okay. He's living with enough guilt from the last few years of his life and he isn't keen on feeling any more. He can't not help someone if they really do need it.

Sitting in the driver's seat Blaine turns on the engine and opens his phone to type the address into his GPS. He doesn't like the idea that he could be about to make a giant fool out of himself but the fact someone could feel so helpless their only call for help is a text message doesn't settle well in his stomach either. He's got his phone so if it does in fact turn out to be a joke he can excuse himself. He composes himself before putting the car to drive and heading off on what is going to either turn out to be a very wise or a very stupid trip.


	4. Chapter 4 - He Knows That Voice

Here is another chapter that I hope you enjoy. Warnings of violence in this chapter. Thank you for all your wonderful reviews so far.

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Blaine knocks on the door, body thrumming with nerves, on more than one occasion on the way over he'd considered turning back, despite that however here he is waiting to see if anyone answers. He hasn't through as far ahead as to plan out what he will do if someone does open the door, too many possibilities about what may be going on. No instead he's just going to react to whatever situation ends up presenting itself.

He squares his shoulders slightly as he hears the door being unlocked. In a way he would have rather no one have been in, yes it would have meant his journey would have been wasted, but instead now he's facing the prospect of explaining himself if it's a joke or finding something that could potentially put him in danger.

Blaine holds back a gasp as the door opens revealing the man behind it, because he certainly knows the person. But he can't say he imagined it ever being someone he would see again.

"Mark?" He questions, because he hasn't seen this man for six years. "So you sent this?" He speaks pushing his phone towards Mark, who quickly snatches it out of his hand. Blaine doesn't even get a response as he watches Mark turn on his heels attempting to slam the door as he does so. Luckily Blaine's quick thinking means he manages to stick his foot out to stop to door closing fully. It seems Mark either doesn't care or doesn't notice however because he doesn't turn around.

He doesn't know quite what to do, because it seems if Mark is angry it can't have been him that sent the message, but that makes him wonder who it was. And there's also the small problem that Mark's walked off with his phone, and he's still waiting for a call from his agent. At the same time he doesn't want to be rude and step inside someone else's home when it could be more innocent that it looks.

He can hear light mumbling coming from inside the house somewhere. Neither voice is loud enough for him to work out what they are saying but they are distinctive enough he can tell they are two separate people. He looks at his watch hoping whatever happens it won't be too much longer until Mark comes back with his phone so he can get off. He likes to keep to a fairly set routine on days when he has a gig. All of a sudden, however the idea of getting out of there leaves his mind.

"I WILL ASK YOU AGAIN, WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?" Comes Mark's booming voice from somewhere inside the house. There's a mumble in response but he still can't work out anything the second voice is saying, or whom may be saying it.

"IF YOU DON'T KNOW, AND YOU DIDN'T SEND THE MESSAGE THEN WHY IS BLAINE ANDERSON AT MY DOOR?" Blaine can hear such a level of malice in his voice that even from here he's worried for whoever Mark's words are aimed at. He didn't know Mark for long, but he knows the man hasn't got a very good temper, and that's confirmed with the next sentence. "TRUST ME, YOU ARE GOING TO FUCKING PAY FOR THIS!"

Blaine can't stand at the front door doing nothing any longer. He pushes it open trying to work out the direction in which the shouting is coming from. He walks into the living room, scanning the doors that lead off trying to find out where Mark is. Out of the corner of his eye he catches movement, and his blood runs cold because he sees a figure curled up on the floor, Mark's foot kicking repeatedly into their back.

"I'm sorry. Please Mark stop you're hurting me," comes the second voice that he can hear now he's inside the house. And he wishes he couldn't. Because even though it sounds so unnatural he knows he's not mistake in saying that the voice belongs to Kurt Hummel, a person he would never expect to be in such a situation. His mind struggles to catch up with the revelation and he watches as Mark brings some unknown object down on Kurt's head.

"YOU'RE GOING TO PAY FOR THIS YOU DIRTY LITTLE SLUT!"

Blaine runs towards the bedroom, not taking a second to think about potential consequences for his actions. He needs to get to Kurt and he needs to do it now. His fears are confirmed when he sees Mark raise his hand again. He's struggling to hold back tears, because even from his position, the way Kurt is laying is worrying, and Blaine knows Mark's words are so far from the truth.

Mark's hand speeds towards Kurt's head again and Blaine screams. "DON'T YOU FUCKING DARE!" and he must have been closer to Mark than he realized because his hand closes around Mark's wrist stopping it just inches from Kurt's head. Mark struggles back instantly and he's thankful that he's kept up with his boxing, meaning that despite Mark's larger size, he himself has the upper hand. He manages to wrestle what he can now tell is a decorative statue out of Mark's hand.

He want's nothing more than to reach out from Kurt, who is just inches away from him, but he can't risk turning his attention away from Mark right now, doing that could put them both in danger. And before he comprehends what he's doing his fist flies towards Mark jaw, connecting with a satisfying thud.

"I'D GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE NOW IF I WERE YOU, BECAUSE IF YOU LAY ANOTHER FUCKING FINGER ON THAT PERFECT MAN, I WILL NOT BE RESPONSIBLE FOR MY ACTIONS!" Blaine yells, hoping that Mark heeds his warning because he isn't up to a full blow fight right now.

Mark doesn't move for a long time, starting at Blaine in disgust. Blaine's pretty sure if looks could kill he'd be dead right now. He's contemplating making it clear to Mark that he was actually being serious, when Mark turns on his heels and leaves, without so much as a second glance towards Kurt who is still lying on the floor.

Blaine's sharply reminded of the state Kurt is in when he looks down and sees Kurt in exactly the same permission he was in when Blaine entered the room. And looking down at Kurt he has to question why all he did was punch Mark. He knows he deserves so much more than that for what he was doing to Kurt. But then Blaine supposes that's the point, it seems he's here because of Mark's treatment towards Kurt, the kind of treatment he could never inflict on another human being.

Bending down slowly, Blaine holds his breath, scared of exactly what state Kurt is going to be in. He doesn't know how badly injured Kurt could be from having been hit over the head, and he can't be sure he was only hit over the head just once either. He may have only seen him hit once but that begs the question what didn't he see. He places his hand to Kurt's neck, finally exhaling when he finds a strong pulse.

He's glad to see that while there is a serious lump forming on the side of Kurt's head there is no sign of blood. He decides that he's safe to pick Kurt up and place him on the bed, doing his best to jostle his body as little as possible, not knowing how much damage Mark may have caused. He's worried about just how light Kurt feels. He knows Kurt's always been keen on keeping in shape, but Blaine sure that right now he's underweight. He used to struggle to pick Kurt up, but now it doesn't even pose a challenge to him.

With a final glace a Kurt, Blaine straightens up and walks towards the closet picking out a couple of suitcases he pretty sure belong to Kurt. He fills them with as much speed and precision as he can. It's clear for the state of the wardrobe that Kurt is just as meticulous about his clothes as ever. He can't help but feel slightly awkward when he retrieves underwear from one of the bedside draws; only sure they're Kurt's because he's seen them or ones very similar before. He walks into the adjoining bathroom, set on finding Kurt's moisturizers; he's pleasantly amused to see he still uses the same ones even after all this time.

He stands for a moment just giving his body time to relax, before he picks up the suitcases wanting to have them in the car before he moves Kurt. He grabs the key off the hook, and doesn't step out of the door until he's certain Mark isn't hanging around. He speeds to his car despite the two heavy suitcases he's carrying, not happy leaving Kurt for any longer than necessary. He puts the suitcases in the trunk, pretty sure Kurt wouldn't be impressed with the way he's treating them. He's thankful he took his own car instead of a cab; he can't imagine having to spend time right now waiting for a cab to arrive.

He's back with Kurt within a couple of minutes, glad to see Mark hasn't returned. So Blaine can only guess that Mark doesn't plan on coming back with him around, and for that he's grateful and he just wants to get Kurt out of here. Blaine pockets his own phone, searching round and finding one that he assumes is Kurt's unable to tell for sure due to the pin lock, and pockets that also.

Blaine walks over to Kurt and gently sits down on the bed next to Kurt. He can't help but brush the bangs out of Kurt's face. He notices the dark circles under Kurt's eyes, something he knows only too well has always been a massive no for Kurt. Though Blaine knows he used to look after himself so well he never used to have dark circles under his eyes, despite all he used to do. He allows the short puffs of Kurt's breath to calm him. Reality of how different the situation could have turned out hitting him. He's so thankful he hadn't just ignored the text messages, he can't imagine what kind of situation could have led to Kurt being where he is now but he can't imagine it's a good one.

He soon decides he's had enough of being in the house however; ready to get Kurt away from a place where he's clear been hurt, and a man who's clearly hurt him. He places a hand under Kurt's back and the other under his legs and picks him up cradling him gently. He doesn't quite know how but somehow he manages to get them both safely downstairs and to his car. He lays Kurt tenderly on the back seat of his car, before covering him with the emergency blanket, though he has to admit he didn't expect this to be the emergency it was used it.

Blaine strokes Kurt's forehead, hoping that even in his unconscious state at may be reassuring. He wants Kurt to know the he isn't going to let any more harm come to him. They may not have parted on the best terms all those years ago but Blaine knows he'd still do anything for the man. He doesn't stand there long however only too aware he needs to get Kurt to a hospital to get checked over. He just hopes this isn't something that's been going on for long.


	5. Chapter 5 - You're Safe Now

Hope you enjoy the chapter - once again thank you for all the new follows and reviews.

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Blaine sighs as he takes a seat on the sofa. The day certainly isn't turning out the way he had planned. And he can't help but worry about Kurt's behavior at the hospital. When they had first arrived Kurt had come round as Blaine was trying to find the best way to remove him from the car and had soon tried to tell Blaine that there was no need for the emergency room. Blaine had to then listen as Kurt lied to the doctor about how he got his injuries. Some rubbish about being clumsy and falling down the stairs. He knows only too well that Kurt is anything but clumsy and his worry only worsened when the doctor expressed concern that it was Kurt's fifth visit in six months. The worry had been reduced, when the same doctor had come back later to inform them that there were no broken bones, just mild concussion, and that he was happy to discharge Kurt if Blaine was willing to monitor him at home.

Blaine had on many occasions wanted to tell the doctor the truth about what had happened, how Kurt had really got his injuries but he'd been worried about freaking Kurt out and destroying and trust between them. Kurt had already tried to insist on going home, when Blaine had explained that he'd pack some clothes for Kurt. Luckily he'd managed to convince Kurt that going home to Mark wouldn't be wise, and Kurt had reluctantly agreed to stay. Blaine didn't want him to change his mind by calling him out on his lying. He could only guess that Kurt had his reasons, and he'd respect that until he knew exactly what they were.

Once they'd arrived back at his house Blaine had insisted on Kurt getting some rest, knowing the morning must have taken it out of him. He hadn't allowed for how much his heart would hurt seeing Kurt so small and vulnerable in his bed, the only place Blaine could place him seeing as his second bedroom is used as his music room.

Blaine takes a sip of his coffee trying to calm down the shaking of his hands. He'd like to say it's due to a lack of coffee, he knows only too well he'd be on at least his fourth by now, but that the real reason is the events that have happened that morning. He'd never expected to see Kurt after their less then amicable parting over six years ago. Kurt had been the love of his life and seeing him so helpless was undoubtedly one of the worst moments of Blaine's life.

He continues sipping at his coffee trying to work things through in his head. He had no idea Kurt and Mark had entered a relationship, they all knew each other back when Kurt and Blaine were in college but Blaine never knew they had entered a relationship, and Blaine can't say it would have even one he has ever guessed at. He also can't help but wonder what exactly what Mark was doing. Why Mark was so angry, and most of all what prompted Kurt's text messages in the first place.

He doesn't have time to even dwell on that thought though as a shrill scream sweeps through the house. Blaine is on his feet, slamming his coffee on the table within seconds. He runs towards the bedroom, hoping to find a way to comfort Kurt.

He walks into the bedroom to find Kurt screaming into the pillow. "NO, PLEASE, NO! MARK, I DON'T WANT THIS! NO!" Blaine's blood runs cold at just how real the fear in Kurt's voice sounds, as if this isn't just a dream but a flashback. And Blaine doesn't even want to think about what it could be connected to, he'd rather be trying to get it to stop right now.

Blaine gently lays his hand on Kurt's shoulder, feeling a Kurt flinches in what he guesses is in pain, before freezing screams stopping instantly. Blaine not stupid, he know Kurt hasn't stopped because he feels comforted, the exact opposite actually. He can't help but wonder just how much there is to this situation, knows Kurt was never a big fan of being touched but this is extreme.

"Kurt," Blaine whispers gently, "it's just me Blaine, please don't panic. Remember you're safe now, I promise." And it's more than just a promise to Kurt for right now. Blaine is promising himself that from now on he will do everything in his power to keep Kurt safe. He doesn't push Kurt any further, keeping his hand on Kurt's shoulder and saying nothing more. He knows Kurt has always needed time to himself, time to allow things to process, and he wants to give him that. But the hand on his shoulder offers what Blaine hopes is reassurance to Kurt that he's isn't going anywhere, that he's here for Kurt if he needs him.

After an unknown amount of time Blaine starts to notice the tell-tale signs that Kurt is crying. The slightly shake of his shoulders, and the sniffle that accompanies the inhale of breath. And if the situation was different Blaine would probably worry that he still recognizes the signs. But right now it's the last thing on his mind.

"Shhh, you're safe now, Kurt." Blaine comforts starting to gently run his thumb along Kurt's shoulder, finally adding in the movement now Kurt is opening up. "I'm right here, and I'm not going anywhere. I want you to remember that you're not at home, Mark can't touch you. It's okay to let it out Kurt, you can let all the pain go you don't have to hold it in anymore." It works and Kurt starts to actively sob. Kurt's always been a strong guy, and Blaine knows sometimes he needs that reassurance that it's okay to cry, that it's perfectly acceptable not to be okay. It's so hard for Blaine not to just bundle him up in his arms and try and take all the pain away.

They stay like this for a few moments before Kurt is shifting, movement clearly causing him a great deal of pain, and Blaine is shocked when he feels Kurt's head being laid against his shoulder. Blaine wraps his arms gently around Kurt, giving him enough time to refuse the hug. Blaine can't help but notice how right if feels, and if the circumstances were different he'd be happy to have Kurt back in his arms.

He knows Kurt doesn't need anything else right now. He's still crying soaking Blaine's shirt, but it's a small price to pay to the comfort he can offer Kurt right now. He can't help but remember a few times he's done a similar thing for Kurt before, like the time he'd comforted Kurt when Pavarotti had died, or the time he needed to break down after staying so brave during his junior prom.

He misses those days, and he can't help but wonder just how different both their lives might be right now if they hadn't broken up. He can't help but feel flooded with guilt, feeling deep down that it's his fault, his body flooding with guilt. He guesses that's the reason he responded to the calls of the text messages, unable to have any more guilt overshadowing his life. Ever since he broke up with Kurt he hasn't been able to deal with guilt of any time.

He's brought out of his own thoughts with a thud. Kurt screaming once again, quickly causing him to hyperventilate. He can feel Kurt shaking all over, as if he hasn't got control of his own body and it's scary. Scary watching someone who has always been so brave and sure fall apart like this.

He tries to help Kurt control his breathing, "Kurt I need you to listen to me. You're safe and you need to breath. In….Out…In."

But it doesn't work, Kurt's breath gets more erratic, his shaking only heightens before his whole body goes still. Panic attack causing him to black out.


	6. Chapter 6 - Mistakes

So here's the new chapter, hope it gives a bit of back story to the boys and their relationship. Enjoy and please review

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Blaine felt so guilty. He couldn't quite put his finger on why, he wasn't the one that had hurt Kurt, but he still couldn't shake the feeling of guilt constantly sitting in the pit of his stomach. He hates how frail Kurt looks, has never seen the man look so awful, even with everything life had put him through back in high school. He knew that things for Kurt must be bad, knows that Blaine is excellent at hiding things, so if he's cracking it's a clear sign of the severity of Kurt's situation.

He can't help but keep trying to convince himself that he's in some kind of dream. It wouldn't be the first time performance nerves had led to crazy dreams. It just didn't make sense, Kurt was, as far as he was concerned, on the whole a very kind person and he couldn't get his head around anyone's motives for wanting to hurt Kurt. He most certainly didn't get Mark's motives for hurting Kurt, he'd friended Kurt when he first moved to New York. Blaine Knew they were close friends but he'd never known they'd become an item.

Blaine can't help but gently stroke Kurt's forehead, tucking his bangs out of the way. It's strange seeing his hair in its currently state, bangs hang down instead of defy gravity like he'd become so used to on his and Kurt's time together. It felt like so long ago he'd said goodbye to Kurt before Kurt moved to New York. So much had changed in eight years.

"_Kurt, I know you're going to New York and I'm so excited for you. You are going to do amazing things for yourself, I just know it. However I…I…I don't really know how to say this, but I don't think we should stay together when you move." He took a deep breath trying to find it in him to continue. "New York is full of other amazing people like you, and it's not fair on me to hold you back. You don't need anything connecting you to Lima." He kept his eyes trained on the floor desperately trying to get Kurt to hear his reasons. "I've not made the decision lightly, Kurt, you have to believe that. But I'm doing this for you to set you feel. I want you to reach your goals but that not going to happen with me holding you back." _

_Blaine watched as a single tear rolled down Kurt's cheek and it broke his heart not to be able to reach out and wipe it away. "Blaine, you…you know that isn't what I want. You're the best thing that's ever happened to me, and I don't want to lose you Blaine. Please don't do this to me, to us." Blaine so desperately wanted to tell Kurt he didn't mean what he'd said, but he had to do this for Kurt. It would be hard for a while but it would be best for Kurt in the long run."_

_He took hold of Kurt hand trying to comfort Kurt, and give himself the strength to see this through. "You won't lose me Kurt. We'll stay friends, I promise, but the relationship won't work. It's not fair on you. You're going to be so busy living an amazing life; you're double majoring in fashion and dramatic arts for goodness sake. You aren't going to have time to Skype with your loser boyfriend who's stuck in Ohio. Text will be_ _scarce and Skype dates would be even scarcer." Blaine could feel the way Kurt was shaking clearly crying with his words but Blaine kept going. _

"_I need to set you free Kurt, and that's what I'm doing. I'm still planning to apply for colleges in New York next year, and if by some crazy miracle you're still single then well look at our options again then. I mean right now we can't even be sure I'll get into a school in New York and what then, we'd spend another 4 years at colleges in different states, we can't do it Kurt. You have to believe how sorry I am Kurt."_

"_This isn't what I want Blaine. I want to make that perfectly clear, but I love you so I'm going to respect what you want. Just let me do something first." Blaine knew it was coming before it happened, Kurt lent down and connected their lips together, and it was just as amazing as ever.. _

"_You do realize I'm never saying good bye to you." Kurt whispered against his lips, before pulling away and walking away. Once Blaine was sure Kurt wouldn't here he finally allowed himself to sob. _

He still couldn't believe what an idiot he'd been that day. He'd never wanted to break up with Kurt. But his parents had constantly reminded him how long distance relationships never worked. That Kurt would be surrounded by so many other people like him that he'd forget Blaine the minute the plane landed. Of course he'd been stupid enough to believe them, when in reality he should have know it was just part of them wanting to turn him straight.

Blaine still can't believe he didn't have faith in himself, he knew he'd make it to New York, college or not. He couldn't believe he'd ever believed Kurt had wanted other guys instead of him. Kurt always used to remind him that he was the only guy Kurt ever wanted, it's funny how thing changed.

And sitting here, Kurt fast asleep and peaceful, yet clearly so broken made the fact he'd fuck up not even two years later even worse. They'd stayed friends like they promised, and when Blaine moved to New York their friendship had grown stronger once more. But he'd been too scared Kurt would reject him to ask him out again. And as he was finding the courage someone beat him to it.

"_Hey guys" Kurt greeted. "I hope you don't mind but I've brought Jason from work with me." _

"_Of course we don't Kurt, as the say the more the merrier, right?" Mark chimed in, clearly tipsy from the amount of drinks he'd already put away._

_They all exchanged pleasantries with Jason; he slipped into the group easily. They continue the night as if it was any other. Meeting every couple a weeks they were all used to the group dynamics by this point. _

_Blaine has turned to ask Kurt about his lasted design project and immediately wished he hadn't. Catching Jason place a chaste kiss on Kurt's lips, felt like being stabbed in the heart. _

"_What the fuck, are you to an item?" He asked though the answer was obvious and his tone was cold._

"_Yes we are, have been for about a week actually. But we wanna take things slow so we didn't see the need to openly announce it." Jason had offered._

"_So you didn't think it was necessary to tell your friends you were in a relationship with this guy when you introduced him Kurt?" Blaine said, not bothering to hide is pissed tone. _

"_No, I didn't, Blaine. I didn't think it was important. I wanted you to get to know Jason, not Kurt's boyfriend Jason. And you do not have a leg to stand on we kept our relationship to ourselves for ever three weeks." Kurt responded, clearly annoyed with Kurt. _

"_Don't bring us into this Kurt, and that was different. It was a first for both of us, we were complelty clueless and we both agreed it was best." Blaine snapped back, angry at the reminder of what he'd lost. _

"_Yes, and that's exactly what Jason and I did, thank you very much. We agreed it was best if people got to know him for him. So, no, it's not different at all."_

"_Oh like we would have had a problem with it Kurt, we've been here for you through everything. Why would we judge the who of you?"_

"_Oh cut the crap Blaine, you haven't been here for me through everything. If I remember correctly you ended it with me the week before I came to New York. The week I needed you most when I was so scared about what my future would hold. Do you actually how much that hurt me. You did actually mean a lot to me."_

_Blaine knew he should have let it go but he couldn't too fuel from his drinks. "What do you mean 'did' actually mean a lot to you?"_

"_Exactly what I said Blaine, but I'll spell it out for you. You meant a lot to me as my boyfriend back then, but I am with Jason now. You still mean a lot to me but as nothing more than a friend, you made your choice."_

_He projected his anger at himself towards Kurt before he even realized what he was doing. "But if I mean a lot to you, why the hell did you think this would be a good way of telling me my ex was dating again. Did you even stop to consider my feelings?"_

_Kurt stood up, shouting match between the two of them getting louder. "What like you stopped to consider my feelings like before you broke my heart. You broke up with me Blaine, I can't stay single forever just to protect you. Maybe you should take a leaf out of my book and do the same, might stop you being so dam uptight and possessive." _

_Blaine broke because he knew he was possessive but he had his reasons. "Well, maybe I'm being possessive because I still having fucking feelings for you! All right, maybe I've regretted that day back in Lima ever since the words came out of my mouth! Maybe I wish that you and I were still together and about to celebrate our fourth anniversary!"_

"_Well, that's tough shit, isn't it? I can't be expected to wait around for you forever to tell me you still have feelings for me. You've been in New York almost a year, Blaine, so you've had long enough to do that. I will be honest. When you came to New York, I believed you were going to say that you still had feelings for me. But, after a month and you hadn't, well, I learned to live with that. I slowly started letting myself believe that I could be with people other than you, and here I am. I've found Jason now, and you'll have to either accept it or get the fuck out, since I'm not about to let you control me."_

_Blaine couldn't hear any more, his heart was shattering more with each word that left Kurt's mouth so he got up and left. _

_Over the next two weeks he received texts from all of their joint friends making clear their feelings on his behavior. Blaming him for being the reason Kurt and Jason broke up just a few days later. But it was nothing compared to the text he'd received from Kurt. _

_- I hate you so much right now. You broke my heart and when I was finally healed about to date again you have to ruin that too. Don't contact any of the guys for a while, I don't think they want anything to do with you, and neither do I. - _

That had been his last contact with Kurt until he'd received the text messages early that morning. He's sent a few texts to Kurt in the weeks following the argument but received nothing in return. Blaine knows he still hasn't forgiven himself for the mistakes he made when he's been naïve and stupid. And still here with Kurt still blacked out from a panic attack just make him feel work.

Blaine knows he can't repair the damage he'd caused during those few years. But he's determined to try and do everything he can to help Kurt get through his current situation. And then maybe, just maybe him and Kurt could be friends again, if Kurt was willing to let them.


	7. Chapter 7 - We Need To Talk

So here is another new chapter, please enjoy and let me know what you think so far

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Blaine hates dilemmas, hates them due to the fact there is normally a chance or upsetting or annoying one or more people depending on the decision he makes and he hates that. He knows Kurt is currently tucked up in his bed having blacked out. But he knows just as well that he's meant to be playing a gig in a few hours time. He doesn't know how to deal with the situation.

Blaine's got no doubt that what he's seeing of Kurt's situation is just the very surface of what is going on. He's knows Mark almost the whole time he's been in New York, Kurt having introduced them shortly after Blaine arrived. He's seen Mark lose him temper on more than one occasion, normally when someone made him feel uncomfortable, but he didn't think Mark had this sort of temper.

And as well as he knows Mark he knows Kurt even better. Knows that the Kurt he used to know in high school would never have put up with Mark's behavior. Blaine knows of the hell Kurt went through in high school, what with being gay, and his dad having a heart attack and all the issues with Karofsky and the other bullies of McKinley. But Blaine also knows that these things show just how strong he is being he always fought back. He can't understand what if different for Kurt this time.

Blaine knows the situation is precarious right now, and he knows that leaving Kurt may not be the best thing for either of them. Because as much as this whole ordeal has affected Kurt, Blaine would be lying if he said it hadn't affected him either. He wants to give himself time to come to terms with everything he's learnt about his former lover. But he knows that at the same time his gig has been in the pipeline for months.

He's finally making a name for himself in the music industry. It hasn't been an easy thing to do and it's taken him years of hard work, but he's finally getting closer to where he wants to be. He knows that if he doesn't attend his gig he'll be damaging his own reputation. He is he meant to decide between something like that and leaving a badly out of shape Kurt alone in his apartment. He doesn't have time to even consider what he's going to do though as his phone rings.

He spends fifteen minutes on the phone to his agent, explain as little as he can while still making clear the scale of the problem he's facing. He wants to do the gig so badly but he knows he's let Kurt down enough times in the past and he just isn't sure he can do that again. He's glad that she's understanding and offers him advice without judging.

Tells him he needs to talk to Kurt, because if he ever meant as much to Kurt as Kurt does to him that he wouldn't want Blaine to miss the gig for anything. Tells him that Kurt would understand what an important career changing moment this gig could be for Blaine. Tells Blaine that he's stupid to have ever have though he'd only have the choice of leaving Kurt as home, because of course Kurt is welcome at the venue, that the luxury of backstage. She understands why he's unsure but she doesn't want him to give up the biggiest opportunity of his career so far.

Blaine ends the call heading to his music room, he wants to stop thinking for a while and for him that requires music. That and the fact if he decides to go to his gig and he hasn't rehearsed he'll mess up, and he can imagine that that would be worse than not turning up at all. He knows he's nearly always perfect on his own compositions but his covers can always do with a tiny bit of polishing.

Blaine is so lost in the music that he doesn't notice Kurt stood by the open door around half an hour later. Kurt doesn't dare interrupt too many bad memories of having done so in the past. Though after ten minute of standing listening to what he has to admit is amazing music he lists his hand and gently taps against the door, not wanting to shock Blaine with his presence.

He watches as Blaine jumps, and Kurt is instantly babbling out an epilogue. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry Blaine." Tears spring into his eyes as he continues just waiting for Blaine anger. "I didn't mean to, I really am sorry." He feels himself hyperventilating but he's too panicked to care.

"Kurt, it's okay. Don't panic, please. I really don't want you blacking out again. It's not good for you. I just wasn't expecting you to be up yet." Kurt tries to focus on Blaine words, because his voice doesn't sound angry, in fact it sounds soft and sort of comforting. "You know what I'm like when immersed in my music. Please calm down. I don't know what's got you so worked up, but it's ok, I promise. Now listen to me, please. Breathe IN…now OUT. Get control of your breathing."

After a few minutes, Kurt's breathing is evening out, the fear he was feeling slowly ebbing away.

"That's better," Blaine states calmly "Did you want something? I'm guessing you do, since you knocked on the door. You didn't need to knock, by the way. You could have just come in."

"Okay. Thank you...er...um...could I have a glass of water?" Kurt asks in a sheepish whisper.

"You don't need to ask to get water," Blaine sighs, rubbing his temple. "Do you want something else stronger, like coffee? Do you want me to fix you something to eat?" Blaine questions guessing Kurt may be more likely to accept an offer than ask for thing himself.

"Coffee sounds great, but I'm not hungry, thanks," Kurt replies quietly.

"Okay, come on. I could do with a break and some coffee, as well. Let's go sit in the kitchen, shall we?"

Kurt only nods in response, trying to get his thoughts straight, he knows if he'd made Mark jump like that he'd have been in serious shit. But Blaine hadn't been angry, the opposite actually Blaine had been worried about him, comforted him. He just doesn't understand why. He's glad he'd not at home right now, but he hadn't expected Blaine to do any more than get him out of the house, before leaving him to fend for himself.

He doesn't understand why Blaine is doing this. He's in the wrong yet Blaine acting like nothing has happened, going about everything as normal, and for Kurt that isn't normal. He doesn't get why Blaine is being so kind to him after the awful way they parted all those years ago. He can't stop the sob that breaks from his lips, confusion and sadness taking over.

Blaine spins round instantly, noticing just how broken the man in front of him is. It's something he's seen before back when Kurt was a sophomore in high school. But that's nothing compared to how broken he looks right now. He purposely walks over to Kurt. He makes his presence known by gently taking hold of Kurt's hand, enough pressure to be comforting but little enough that Kurt can pull away if he wishes.

"I don't know exactly what's going on here Kurt, but this isn't the man I know." He comments honestly. But I do know that right now coffee will help the both of us." He gently pulls on Kurt's hand guiding him towards the kitchen.

Blaine places two cups of coffee on the breakfast bar, before he seats himself on the stool next to Kurt. They sit in silence both occasionally taking sips for the mugs. Both too lost in their thoughts to actually start a conversation. After a while however Blaine does break the silence wanting to get the conversation over with.

"We need to talk, Kurt." He says slowing watching in horror as Kurt freezes look of panic covering his face. It takes Blaine a few moments to realize why but when he does he is quite to correct Kurt's thought process.

"Oh, not, Kurt not about what happened today, not if you aren't ready. That is something you tell me if and when you are ready and not before. I'm here if you do but I won't be offended or push you if you don't. It's about me more than you actually, that okay?"

Kurt gives a small nod so Blaine continues. "Well I've been trying for a while to break into the music industry and I'm meant to have a really important gig tonight but I don't want to go.

"Blaine," Kurt interjects quietly, "what do you mean you don't want to go?"

Blaine sighs taking a sip of his coffee before responding. "Well you make not like me saying this but you look so broken and lost right now Kurt. The first time left you alone a little while ago you work up screaming in fear, before having a panic attack in my arms, and only ten minutes ago you almost had another one, before crying over a simple cup of coffee." Blaine looks at Kurt trying to gage his reaction but Kurt has his sights clearly set on the mug in front of him. "What I'm saying is that I don't know if I can go to the gig, knowing you could be hear having a panic attack while all alone.

"Well, I know you may not like me saying this but, you look so broken. I brought you here passed out, and you woke up screaming, in what I can only describe as pure fear, and then you had a panic attack while lying in my arms. Then you almost had another one just because you made me jump, and THEN you cried because I offered to make you coffee. I know that isn't you, Kurt. I don't know if I can go to the gig, knowing that something's wrong, wondering if you'll have a panic attack or wake up screaming with no one here," Blaine said honestly.

"I appreciate your concern Blaine," Kurt begins eyes not leaving his coffee mug, "but you can't just not go because of me, I can cope on my own for a few hours." The tone in Kurt's voice is far from convincing.

"Kurt you couldn't convince a new born baby you are coping right now let alone me. So I want to give you two choices do I'd like it if you could pick one for me?" Kurt nods again so Blaine continues. "You can either come to the gig and spend it back stage close enough I can be there if needed but far enough away from prying eyes to keep you safe. If you can't do that and you want to stay here that if fine too but it also means I stay.

"I'm not letting you give up your chance for me so it seems I don't have any choice by to come," Kurt responded slowly. "You are not staying here just to look after a 26 year old man, but you have to promise me I will be back stage and not in the audience I'm not ready for that," he admits honesty

"Of course you will my agent has already agreed. Now please drink the coffee it will help with the shakes." Kurt doesn't even notice the Kurt in his hand on the way he shivers until after it's pointed out to him.

K&BK&B

True to word Kurt spends to whole gig back stage shocked by just how little Blaine's voice has changed over the years and certainly still just as talented as ever. The arrive back at Blaine together despite Kurt trying to insist Blaine drop him at the motel.

Blaine insists that Kurt takes the bed, Kurt refusing for over fifteen minutes stubborn streak still plan to see. In the end however he's just too tired to argue with Blaine anymore and ends up conceding. He thanks Blaine profusely before heading the bedroom.

It's only after a third time of entering his bedroom the a screaming Kurt Blaine decides that the only way to stop the nightmares from returning is to keep himself close to Kurt. Within touching distance in case the man needs anything in the night. The second Blaine is comfortable they both fall into a few hours of uninterrupted sleep.


	8. Chapter 8 - Deeply Wrong

So another chapter to move the story along, please let me know what you think.

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Over the next few days things don't get any easier. Kurt is constantly acting like a scared child, refusing to do anything without permission, now speaking unless Blaine encourages him to do so. He hasn't told Blaine anything about the situation and Blaine doesn't want to push the issue and end up scaring Kurt even more. He knows the situation is more than delicate.

Blaine is up making breakfast he's been watching Kurt closely the past couple of days and knows he's not really been eating. Is hoping that if he cooks Kurt breakfast Kurt will at least eat something. He's halfway through cooking when Kurt stumbles into the kitchen still half asleep but immaculately dress and not a hair out of place. Blaine pours a cup of coffee before handing it to Kurt, before turning back to the food.

He knows Kurt probably won't be too happy with a breakfast of bacon and eggs but he's not lying when he notes Kurt looks worryingly thin. He knows Kurt's always had a slim figure but he can't help but be worried that Kurt is too thin to be healthy; he'd seen the way the doctor's eyes lingered on Kurt's figure just days ago in the hospital. He has to admit he kind of wished the doctor would have said something.

Blaine plates up the food before silently placing one of the plates in front of Kurt, who has places himself tentatively at the breakfast bar. Which Blaine has to admit is a tiny but of progress, having not had to invite Kurt to sit down. Blaine sits down himself and only when it's clear Kurt isn't going to start of conversation does he do so himself.

"What are you doing with yourself now? Did you go into acting or fashion in the end?" He questions, genuinely intrigued at the answer. Last thing he know Kurt was double majoring in fashion and the dramatic arts.

"Both, I never could give either up," Kurt admits, "My main job is designing for a small fashion company. Not many of the designs have been made into actual lined but some of them have been used on the catwalk so I'd say I'm doing pretty well. As for acting I've had a few minor roles both on and off Broadway but nothing major yet. I get the best of both worlds which is all I could ever have asked for." Blaine can't help but notice that Kurt face lights up more and more as he speaks about his work, and it's refreshing to see that Kurt still has his passions.

"You sound like you are doing well. I always knew you would. Keep having faith in yourself Kurt and things will only continue to get better." Blaine knows how hard it is to get anywhere in the performing business so for Kurt to have been on Broadway at all is a major achievement but he's of no doubt Kurt will one day get a lead role.

"Thank you Blaine, I doubt it sometimes, but you know me I'm not one for giving up." And Blaine certainly knows that's true.

"Glad to hear it," Blaine responds placing his fork onto his not empty plate, noting that Kurt's plate is less full that it was when he gave it to him even if it's not empty. "Another coffee?"

"Please, I still can't function without three in the morning. And while you do that I'll start on the dishes."

"You've not changed one bit, Kurt." Blaine jokes, though he wonders how true it really is, he may not have changes in some ways, but Blaine's almost certain in other ways Kurt is completely the opposite of the man he used to be. "And, no, you won't do the dishes. I'll do them. Go sit in the living room and relax. Go watch some telly, or I don't know play the piano if you still play. I'll bring you the coffee through in a minute."

Kurt shakes his head. "While those things sound nice, the least I can do to say thank you if help you clean up." Blaine is about to argue when Kurt continues speaking. "Oh, and before I forgot, I want you to have this," Kurt says taking out his wallet, and trying to hand Blaine a large number or bills.

"No!" Blaine exclaims, realizing when Kurt jumps that he needs to remember his tone. "Kurt you know I'm not going to accept that. I would do this for anyone I call a friend. I didn't do this because I want anything from you, I did this because I want you safe." He watched Kurt deflate and tries the only thing he can think of to at least compromise with Kurt. "But if it makes you feel better, I'll give in and let you do the dishes."

Blaine goes about making more coffee, trying to understand why on earth Kurt would feel the need to give him money for staying. As he'd said he really would do it for any friend. Though he has to admit after their parting a few years ago, he shocked even himself at how easy it is for him to call Kurt and friend again.

SMASH!

Blaine jumps at the sound of the noise, back having been towards Kurt. Once his brain registers what has happened he turns to see Kurt frozen. He waits a few seconds expecting an apology or something, not that he's bothered about a simple glass.

"Kurt…" he says softly, after nothing happens for another minute, taking a step towards Kurt. Only realizing it's a mistake when he sees the horror in Kurt's eyes.

"Please, Blaine, I'm sorry! Don't, please don't" Kurt's voice sounds strained and full of fear so unlike Kurt's normal voice. "It was an accident, please just don't! I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'll fix it now." And with that Blaine watches, in his own horror as Kurt slips to his knees and starts picking up the small shards of glass with his hands.

Blaine's mind is racing, unsure as to exactly what is going to, but almost certain it may be linked to Kurt's relationship with Mark. He slowly sinks down in front of Kurt, knowing Kurt's going to injure himself if he carries on handling the glass, but not wanting to scare the petrified man further.

"Kurt, stop, please." He says slowly, trying not to make it an order, but at the same time stressing the important of it happening. He moves his hands forwards to gently take hold of Kurt's wrists mindful to be gently.

Kurt has a different idea though as the second Blaine's hands make contact with his wrists Kurt tries to pull away, while screaming "NO!" at such a volume Blaine himself jumps. All the movement causes Kurt's shirt sleeve to rise, and Blaine gasps at the sight of the horrible purple and black bruises round both of them. In his shock he lets go of Kurt's wrists and before he has a chance to blink Kurt is cowering in the corner, in a position that etched in Blaine's mind far too clearly from the day he found Kurt with Mark.

It hits Blaine like a ton of bricks that the behavior of Mark's he had witnesses wasn't an isolated incident. That the reason for Kurt's behavior is because he's almost certain Mark's been abusing Kurt. Blaine feels the color drain from his face at the though. And while he can't be sure how bad it's been, Kurt's behavior doesn't fill him with much hope. He pushes it to the back of his mind though knowing Kurt and the current situation need to be his number one priority.

"Kurt. It's okay, I'm not going to hurt you." He begins in almost a whisper. "I'll stay over here. I just wanted you to stop picking up the glass, you were hurting yourself. Why did you feel you needed to do that, it's what the dustpan and brush is for. I know you might not feel like answering and that's okay, but just know I'm not angry at you for breaking the glass Kurt." Blaine finishes, before remaining perfectly still and silent.

He wants to make it clear to Kurt that he isn't a threat and right now he can't think of any other way he can do so. The silence in the room is deafening, Blaine feels like his head is going to explode with the speed at which his thoughts are rushing through it.

Blaine isn't sure how long they stay like that, him doing nothing but breathing. Kurt completely silent head down, with his knees pulled up to his chest, arms wrapped around himself as if holding himself together, rocking himself backwards and forwards. But in the end Kurt slowly moves towards him. Blaine still stays still wanting Kurt to continue with whatever he's about to do. And in the end Kurt's palms are just in front of Blaine. And Blaine looks in dismay at the cuts littering Kurt's hand, mind adding that not all of them are fresh.

"Kurt?" he questions trying to find the right words. "Has something like this happened before?"

Blaine wants Kurt to say no, but he isn't shocked when Kurt slowly nods, eyes fixed on the floor. And Blaine is pretty sure Kurt thinks he thinks he's weak right now. But he doesn't and he needs Kurt to realize that. Know this isn't Kurt's fault.

"Kurt, please look at me." He says looking towards Kurt with a soft expression, wanting to express his feelings without words hoping Kurt will understand. And slowly Kurt does look at him, fear written over his face, and Blaine's not sure if it's because of the situation, or because of the amount of time he's taken to do what he's asked.

He watches a Kurt studies his expression. He isn't sure what Kurt is looking for so he doesn't try and give him anything keeps himself exactly the same as he was when Kurt first looked at him. But it seems whatever Kurt is looking for he finds. Because suddenly he's in Blaine's arms, face pressed into the gap between Blaine's shoulder and neck, sobbing harshly. And Blaine doesn't know what's going through Kurt's mind but he's going to find out and he's going to make it better.


	9. Chapter 9 - Revelations

Warnings for mention of non-con in this chapter

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Blaine known for a while he has to have a conversation with Kurt about what he saw happening, but that doesn't mean he feels like he's ever going to be ready. Its Kurt's break down that makes him ask. They're sat on the sofa sometime late, Kurt held gently in Blaine's arms. Blaine is struggling to keep his own emotions in check, seeing Kurt so broken is killing him.

He wants nothing more than to be able to take Kurt's pain away but he knows he can't. Knows that Kurt probably has a long healing process to go through, and even then will never be able to put the incident totally behind him, who could? Blaine wants to tell Kurt that everything is going to be alright, but how can he when he doesn't even know the full extent of what Kurt may have gone through. But he wants to know, wants to know to try and find ways to help, because that's what you do when you love someone. Maybe he shouldn't admit it but he does still love Kurt.

"Kurt, I understand if you can't tell me, but what I saw Mark doing yesterday...that wasn't the first time he hurt you, was it?" There's a pause in which Blaine is convinced Kurt is going to refuse to engage in the conversation, but then he sees it, the shake of Kurt's head, that if he wasn't waiting for a response he wouldn't have noticed.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Blaine asks genuinely wanted Kurt to feel able to if he needs to. "Dropping the glass seemed a big trigger for you, and I'm worried about you." Blaine admits honestly, because he truly is worried, has been ever since he'd hear Kurt's voice back at Kurt's apartment. "I understand if you don't feel you can, but I just want you to know I'm not here to judge you, I just want to try and make you feel safe."

There is another even longer pause, and Blaine just hopes he hasn't pushed Kurt too far. He can't imagine anything worse in their current situation than him pushing Kurt to far, causing Kurt to pull away even faster.

"I…I…I can try." Kurt stutters, slowly sitting himself up and out of Blaine's embrace.

"That's fine Kurt, take it at your own pace, and if it gets too much say so, we can watch a movie or something, or if you need space tell me that too and I'll make sure you get some."

"No!" The response comes quickly shocking Blaine. "Please don't leave me, I feel safer with you around." And despite the situation, Blaine can't help the little flutter of his heart at the thought of Kurt needing him. "Gosh, where do I even start?"

Blaine waits patiently for Kurt to speak again, not wanting to rush the man. It gives him some time to sort his own thoughts. Blaine's under no illusion that this conversation is going to be easy, and he doesn't want to be the one breaking on Kurt. Kurt needs support right now he doesn't need Blaine breaking down on him.

"I guess I'll start at the obvious. The morning text you, things had already happened. The reason I didn't put a name on the texts is because I was sort of worried my name would make you want to run a mile. Mark came home in the early hours drunk, he never handles his drink well and I always seems to get the tough end of that." Blaine wants Kurt to stop alright, he can feel his stomach churning, but he knows that Kurt being able to trust him is a big thing, and something he'd grateful for so he keeps attentive, not interrupting and just letting Kurt continue.

"When Mark got home I was asleep on the sofa, something that should never have happened when there was jobs to be done in the apartment, but it did happen and Mark went crazy. I know it's my fault, he made it clear he wanted to house clean but that doesn't make me feel any better about what he did." Blaine wanted to scream, both because of Mark's behavior but also that fact Kurt thought it was his fault. He knows however that he can't do that to Kurt, wonders if this is actually doing Kurt quite a lot of good, to finally to able to get out his true feelings. Well Blaine at least hopes they are his true feelings.

"I did want him to be angry, I'd had enough experience with an angry Mark to know I was always the own who ended worst off, so I tried to make it better and sort out the jobs I'd missed. Not that he gave me much choice he practically forced me into the kitchen. I so often used to feel like his little housewife, despite the fact we aren't married and I'm clearly not a women." Blaine takes hold of Kurt's hand trying to offer comfort, and is pleased with the small smile he receives from Kurt in response.

"That sort of leads onto the reasons I acted the way I did in your kitchen and once again for that I am sorry."

Blaine finally chooses to interrupt. "Kurt, you don't have to apologize, I'm not asking you to tell me because I feel I need to know, I want to know about all of this so I can help you. "

"Either way I'm still sorry. One of the jobs I'd missed was the dishes so I set about them too quickly trying to please Mark, and keep him sweet but it backfired. I dropped a glass and Mark went berserk." Blaine feels Kurt shudder, and wants nothing more than to take him in to his arms again, refraining only because he's unsure what Kurt reaction will be. "He forces me to the ground and I had to clean it up with just my hands. And basically told me I was so useless because…because my mom…mom is dead." Tears roll down Kurt's cheeks and Blaine wants nothing more than to get his hands on Mark right now because he'd to much more than punch him.

Blaine knows how much Kurt's mom means to him, knows no matter how long they haven't been in contact for that that won't have changed. It's understandable that Kurt's upset, and it's a low blow from Mark too.

"Come here," Blaine says without thinking, opening his arms up to Kurt, who is in them instantly. Sobbing once again. Blaine gives him some time, but when the sobs don't subside he decides to take matters into his own hands.

"Kurt, listen to me! You are not messed up! Your mother would be so damn proud of you right now. You went to college. You've grown into a wonderful man, and many people could learn a thing or two from you about what being a proper man means. You've been through so much in your life, and yet you always come out on the other side with compassion. If anyone has made their mother proud, it's you. You need to try and calm down for me Kurt. Take some deep breaths.

It takes a while but with Blaine soothing his hand over Kurt's back his breathing slowly calms. And if Blaine grips Kurt a little bit tighter the longer it takes, well who can blame him?

"Thank you. You just, well, you know how much my mom means to me, and for him to say that - it killed me inside. Back then I gave myself a few seconds to be upset about what he said before cleaning up the glass, which lead to me getting the cuts you saw earlier. The second your glass left my hand earlier, I was back there. I wasn't in your kitchen with you, but mine with Mark. And while you may not have been angry Mark would. Then you tried to grab my wrists and it's something Mark's done all too often causing the bruising you saw. I didn't want you to see them; I'd hate to know what you'd think of me if you knew how I'd got them." Blaine feels awful that it was in part his behavior that lead to Kurt's reaction, but he knows there is nothing he can do about it now. Knows that the only thing he can do now is reassure Kurt some more.

"Kurt, I understand, I really do. I don't blame you for breaking that glass, accidents happen. You know how clumsy I can be. I must say Kurt the bruises did worry me, but they don't make me think any less of you, none of this is your fault."

"Not my fault? Not my fault when I'm the one that's stuck around with Mark. Stuck around despite knowing I'm going to have bruises like that at least once a week, when I'm crazy enough to refuse Mark sex? Knowing that my refusal would cause Mark to become so angry he wouldn't care about my opinion and would rape me? So yes it is my fault Blaine because I was too weak to get myself out." The second Kurt's finished he's sobbing again, and Blaine isn't the least bit surprised.

Blaine is instantly filled with rage, and has use every ounce of self-control not to go crazy himself, not about Kurt but about Mark. And it's only having Kurt in his arms that gives him that self control, because the broken man in his arms does not need him getting angry and scaring him more. Because Mark raped-RAPED-Kurt. The same Kurt Blaine knows would never harm anyone. And Mark is the man who is meant to love Kurt? Blaine doesn't understand it.

Blaine wants nothing more than to be able to go and find Mark and kill him. And it may sound harsh but he doesn't care, can't think of anything more just that Mark deserves right now. But he certainly doesn't feel like Mark should be alive. But he knows Kurt needs him, needs to feel safe and protected and right now only Blaine can offer him that. So he stays calm, reminding himself that Mark will get what he deserves in the end. And decides to focus his efforts into Kurt because Kurt is so amazing and he needs him to know. And most of all he needs Kurt to stop taking the blame, for that monster.

"Stop blaming yourself Kurt, this is never and will never be your fault. Never your fault."


	10. Chapter 10 - Holding Back

Here is another chapter for you to enjoy. Thank you for all your lovely reviews :)

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Sitting in the waiting area of the police station and Kurt's still not quite sure why he agreed to this. Blaine had wanted him to press charges against Mark, he'd been unsure at first but Blaine's reassurance that he only had to divulge the information he was ready to, made the decision easier. As did Blaine's guarantee that he would be at Kurt's side throughout the whole thing. The fact that Blaine is willing to make a statement against Mark for the behavior he witnessed makes Kurt's decision on what he's going to divulge even easier.

"Mr. Hummel?" A middle aged officer enquires walking into Kurt's line of sight.

"Yes, that's me," he responses body beginning to thrum with nervous energy

"Hello Mr. Hummel, I'm Officer Deakin and I'll be taking your statement today. Mr Anderson you will need to wait out here, and a colleague of mine will be out to take your statement as soon as one of them is free."

Kurt is filled with horror at the idea of being on his own with a stranger, police officer or not they are still a stranger and also a male. He doesn't free ready to do that yet.

"No…no…no. I can't be on my own. No, I can't do this." He knows he's rambling but he can't seem to take control of his brain to mouth filter.

"Kurt," Blaine speaks standing and stepping into Kurt's personal space slowly. "You need to calm down. You know why you need to do this. And I promise I will be here when you come out. I won't go anywhere other than to make my own statement." Kurt wants to believe Blaine because he's been nothing but trustworthy, but he can't because this isn't about Blaine it's about him and his feelings of being alone with a stranger.

"No Blaine! I can't say any of it again without you being there. Please don't make me!"

"Mr. Hummel," Officer Deakin interjects. "How about if Mr. Anderson accompanies us while we take down the background information? And leaves during the part of the statement that he witnessed? Would that make you feel more comfortable, this process isn't about causing you any unnecessary stress." Kurt thinks for a minute, it still means that he'll be alone with the officer, but not until he's had time to get used to the man.

Kurt nods slowly. He doesn't totally understand why he feels having Blaine there will make it easier. The only thing he knows if that even all these years later, he still feels safe with Blaine.

It doesn't take long to get them situated in an interview room, and it only makes Kurt feel worse. Idea of sharing his past with anyone else making him uneasy.

"Right, Mr. Hummel can you please give me the full name of the person who the accusations you are making are against?"

"Markus James Barnes." Kurt stated, death grip of Blaine's hand despite the easiness of the question.

"Address?"

"Same as mine, the normal one not the temporary one, that's Blaine." Kurt feels Blaine give his hand a little squeeze back and he knows he's making the right decision and knows Blaine is planning on stick by his side.

"What is your relationship to Mr. Barnes?"

"We are or well more were boyfriends. We'd been together just over five years." And when he says it Kurt can't believe it's been that long. And wonders what his life might have been like if more than half of it hadn't involved abuse.

"Okay. You both entered into the relationship of your own free will?" Kurt can't help but feel like the officer is pretty cold and he has to remind himself that it's his job and that it's nothing personal towards him.

"Yes, we did. We were friends for a while before we got together. We met when I was a freshman in college." He's giving more information the he needs to, but he's pretty sure the information he's providing is information that would be asked for anyway and the quicker he can get this done the better.

"That's one positive here at lease, that we aren't dealing with an involuntary relationship" And Kurt nods in agreement because it's true and the first part of their relationship was good. "What is your relationship to Mr. Anderson?"

"Good friend of mine," the answer comes easily despite the long time with no communication. "Ex-boyfriends from high school. He's the one who found me, and got me away from what's been happening."

"Thank you Mr. Hummel, now we've got the background I'm going to have to ask Mr. Anderson to leave. You both need to make statements on what happened next, and therefore you cannot hear what the other says in case it changes what you say in your own statement. He will go the other side of that window over there, that way while whatever is said is kept private you will still be able to see him, hopefully making you feel more comfortable." And Kurt can't help but be grateful for what the officers are doing to help him feel at ease.

Kurt can only nod, knowing that he's never told anyone some of what he'd about to share, and he's sharing it with a complete stranger. He watches a Blaine stands up and turns to leave.

"Wait!" He says quickly. "Blaine can I have a hug before you go?" he whispers unsure if he's allowed to request such a thing. But when Blaine quickly granted the request he can't help but feel better. Reminds himself he is okay asking for what he feels he needs, even if he doesn't always get it.

"Kurt, everything will be fine, I promise. I will be just through there. Take your time. Nobody is going to force you to do anything you are not comfortable with. I will be sitting there so you will be able to see me. I told you a word many years ago: "Courage." And if only Blaine' knew how much that word had helped him when it came to first texting him just over a week ago. He watches as Blaine leaves feeling a lot more unsettled without a familiar person in the room.

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Blaine is grateful – in a way – to be able to speak to one of the officers on his own. He doesn't like the fact he's had to leave Kurt clearly scared, but there are a few things he wants to inform the officers about.

He's finished with his statement, about ready to go back to the waiting area when he addresses Officer Kissel, the officer who had just taken his statement.

"I was wondering if I could tell you a few things before you go back to Kurt. It doesn't have to do with what happened, so it probably won't need to be in my statement, but I think it may be useful to know while Mr. Hummel gives his statement."

The officer gave Blaine a skeptical look, but eventually replies, "Yes, you may, but depending on what information you say it may need to be statemented also."

"Okay, thank you very much." He's annoyed that he didn't bring it up before now he might need to make another statement taking him away from Kurt for longer. "It has taken me over a week to convince Mr. Hummel to come here. He is awfully scared what the repercussion of admitting what's happened may be. He is one of those people that stays strong for a long time and then breaks all at once. We've been friends since high school, or friendship started out with me being a mentor of sorts, due to bullying he was receiving for his sexuality. Back then he kept a lot of things held back, wouldn't open up fully for a long time. From what I've seen he's doing that again, he's holding back. I know it sounds strange but that's just the kind of person he is. He'd rather withdraw from a situation that face it before he's ready. I'm not saying he's going to lie – far from it – but he may withhold parts of information, and I didn't want it to not be understood if at any point information that has yet to be shared comes up." Blaine finishes, blushing slightly when he realizes just how much information he bombarded the officer with.

Blaine can't help but feel guilty. While convincing Kurt to come to the station, he'd agreed with Kurt that he didn't have to inform the police about the rape if he wants reason. However he doesn't want Kurt not to, and then not to have to option to include it later on. An something about Kurt's behavior makes him know there's information that he's yet to share with him, and he isn't going to push it out of Kurt before he's ready.

"Mr. Anderson, thank you for being open and honest with us. I will make sure there is a note on the case file. May I ask you what he confided in you back then to make you feel this situation is the same?"

"He was being bullied and that was common knowledge in his school, but the extent wasn't. But in the end he broke and finally told me, the main bully had threatened to kill him. Everytime he spoke about the situation before that he always had a look in his eyes similar to what I've seen over the past week. However, I do understand if that isn't enough for you to go on - to believe what I am saying."

Officer Kissel nods.

"Thank you. I'll take you back to the waiting room now. Mr. Hummel should already be there. It sounds like you are a good friend to him."

Blaine lets out a sigh as he follows the officer towards the waiting area. The days been stressful and he's anxious to be back with Kurt. As he enters the waiting area he's met with an armful of Kurt. Eyes red and puffy where he's clearly been crying. He knows there's more he needs to learn about the situation but he knows he's going to stick by Kurt and help him heal.


End file.
